Finally.
1000 times finally.
My new novel, Zwischenshritte, will be available in bookstores in Germany at end of February! I am excited to announce that it is my first book that I am publishing myself- with a wonderful team of dedicated professionals-under my own label MORE books. MORE like English more and MORE like Croatian the sea. With this name, my writing history and my personal heritage are united, expressing my mission and my purpose.
Self-publishing is exciting and hard work. There are so many things to do and to think of!
As you may know, I’ve successfully published 4 novels with distinguished publishing houses in Germany. Everybody, me included, thought it would just go on like that for ever. But it didn’t. Nine years ago I started getting rejections. The standard ones, like it just doesn’t fit the publisher’s program. After some time there was only silence. Not even an answer. I went from anger to denial to rage to sorrow to bitterness. I was clueless and desperate to understand. I went into hiding. I doubted everything, I put everything in question – except my writing. I’ve never for a second believed I’ve suddenly forgotten how to write. That kept me going. I wrote and wrote. And then I wrote some more. The idea of self-publishing came rather early on this path but I couldn’t live with my perception that if I publish my books myself I would be a loser. When I said that to my husband, he took me to the shelves with all my books, all the translations of my books and asked me if this was what a loser looks like? I cried and appreciated his support – but those three shelves could not change my mind. Not at that point. Until suddenly one day it was all gone. All the shaming, blaming, comparing, judging, and despairing. The waiting time was over. One morning I got up and I knew what to do. I knew who I was. It was so liberating. I didn’t have to prove anything to anybody. I allowed myself to express my truth. I finally understood and felt and realized I didn’t have to depend on anybody, I didn’t need a publisher. I can be my publisher! I am enough. What a beautiful, uplifting feeling.
So here we are: My beautiful new novel about losing, forgetting, forgiving, and letting go, about friendship, passion, love, and new beginnings – and me. I offer this to you, dear readers – if you read German. But who knows, maybe the English translation is on its way too. Everything is possible when you stop imposing on yourself limitations of any kind…
By the way, Zwischenschritte means in-between, steps in-between, the ones we do before the big one, the right one; the things we do between decisions. How completely appropriate. Don’t you think?